Our Nutshell

Am I Doing This Parenting Thing Right?

Andrea — Sat, 08 Jul 2017 00:41:53 +0000

Sometimes as parents we wondering if we’re doing this parenting thing right. We might lose our temper, make a birthday cake that’s not Pinterest-worthy, or have spaghetti for a 3rd night in a row because we’re tired and can’t bring ourselves to cook a healthy meal. Add on all of the modern day pressures like wondering if that plastic is BPA free or your car seat is safe (because they change standards every year) and it’s enough to furrow a deep self-doubt. Then there’s moments like today when I went downstairs and saw this sign taped to the light switch. It reads “This is the best family ever!! In my life !!!!!!! By Autumn. And I see that and think “Yes, I think I’m doing something right”.

Fruits and Starting them early.

Eric — Wed, 05 Mar 2014 21:57:30 +0000

As we live in a very controversial time with children and weight and eating right types of food, the one comment I always hear is “your children eat so good”. A lot of people have always said “my kids dont like fruits” or I hear “my kids wont eat fruits”. To me and in no means am I trying to point fingers, or call out nor am I saying this is the right way to parent. But, to me I think its because you (the parent) did not start your child/children at a young age. Today if I went to the grocery store my kids would get EXCITED to get strawberries, blueberries, grapes and apples. They would prefer a fruit salad bowl over a bowl of chips. People always say NO WAY, when I say this till they see it. Either myself or my wife can create a smorgasbord of fruit and our children will devour them like hyenas. It’s not about whether your kid will like fruit or not. Its about taking the time and instilling that into them when they are young. Remember, it all starts when they are young. It’s about taking the time and preparing the fruits for them. It’s an essential part of a child’s diet and even more essential as they get older. Do not give in, what I mean by that is understand that while its much easier to just throw in eggos or pop tarts, or some sugary cereal they are getting temporary fake sugar and not natural sugar and nutrients that they need. They key here is making them understand that this is what they need to eat for good long lasting energy and for PROPER sugars that they need to put in their body. It will help them grow strong and be fast, like a super hero my youngest son always tells me.

Even with a family of four kids and running a business my wife and I find time to always keep a fresh and healthy stock of fresh fruit. And might I recommend if you are looking for a nice day out or for some healthy fun please look around in your local area for blueberry, strawberry or apple picking. There are many things and farms and places out there that you can go and take the family to for a fun day out. Yes sometimes they may charge a bit more but you’re going for the experience and memories not for just the berries / fruit / veggies. We always try to help support local farmers and markets as much as possible as well.

I hope that you found this little blurb informational and hopefully it inspires you to start feeding your child fruits and paving the way for them for years to come. I can guarantee that you will not be disappointed by the outcome.

It’s Only Temporary: Navigating Parenting and Life Stages

Andrea — Wed, 12 Feb 2014 02:36:34 +0000

“It’s only temporary”. When our fourth child was born, I repeated this phrase/mantra to myself quite often. I’m a sleep person, if I get sleep I can usually conquer the world the next day, without sleep I don’t function well at all. After years of trial and error I found that not getting up early meant less migraines, which is HUGE. Lack of sleep means that I’m usually pretty cranky, my brain is mush, I’m most likely going to have a headache and the day just drags on.

Luckily for me, Eric needs very little sleep and doesn’t mind getting up at the crack of dawn(well before the sun rises) with the early bird kiddos. I sleep in for a bit, and at night he gets some extra “off” time to compensate for it. This works out great for both of us.

Having our first 3 children we managed to juggle things pretty well, by the fourth child our house is hectic, all the time. So when our daughter was born my mom came up for a bit to help out, which was so helpful and appreciated. Once my mom left, we were faced with the reality of having to do everything she was helping with (watching the kids, making meals, doing dishes & laundry), in addition to going “back to work” as we work for ourselves so there really is no “off” time or “maternity” period.

This was all fine and dandy, until the lack of sleep started to set in. After a few days my mental functions were zip, I could barely figure out how to add single digit numbers, let alone plan dinner or help with homework. Although I was able to work, my brain was on “slow mo” mode…everything took 4 times longer then usual and it made it so even a simple task took forever. Mentally I really really wanted to speed work as usual, but when you tell your brain to do something and it just can’t, it is extremely frustrating.

Babies are…babies, and as much as you might have a routine and pray for the best, they really are on their own schedule. This meant just when our baby was suppose to be falling asleep(so I could grab some rest), she’d stay up. Or she’d get up in the middle of the night for a few hours for no reason. As the lack of sleep mounted, so did my frustration with myself.

When I’d find myself getting to that….UGGGHHHHH!!! point I’d stop and remind myself “It’s only temporary”. Soon enough my daughter would be sleeping through the night, before I know it she’ll be off at college, and I just need to stop and realize the stage I’m at, the expectations of her at this stage(she’s a baby and not going to sleep much), and accept it. After all, “It’s only temporary”.

Often when we’re in the middle of a difficult parenting situation, a colicky baby, a temper tantrum ridden child, a toddler who won’t sleep, we quickly jump to feeling helpless and often hopeless. When those moment’s arise, just remind yourself that it is only temporary, and before you know it that stage, just like all others, will pass.

Be sure to cut yourself some slack, if you’re a new mom wearing sweats everyday and only getting a shower 2 times a week, it’s ok. If you have a new baby and don’t have time to make a full Thanksgiving dinner and decide to get takeout…it’s ok. These are all just temporary stages.

Holding yourself to unattainable standards and expectations is only going to stress you, and the rest of your family, out. Take a breath, take it one day at a time, and before you know it the easier days will come.

I experienced this “UGGGGGHHH!” moment again recently, our 3 year old daughter is still not potty trained and although she was doing great for awhile, she has since totally lost interest. One of the most comical comments on this particular stage is that I don’t know a single 20 year old, or 15 year old for that matter, who still has to wear a diaper. At some point, in their own way, everyone potty trains.

You’re a great parent, remember that, and remember that when life gets tough, “It’s only temporary”.

Surviving Eating Out With Kids

Andrea — Mon, 10 Feb 2014 22:02:32 +0000

I feel like we conquered the world tonight. We were able to take all four kids out to eat and there were no major meltdowns.

Dining out with kids is the Olympics of parenting. Not only are you going out to a public place where your kids need to behave, but there is the element of needing to wait. Many restaurants are pretty understanding when you bring children in(get them in and out), but there have been instances where we’ve waited an hour (already seated) to just get an appetizer. That day did not go so well.

We were out getting some shopping done when we realized that we would have to stop to eat. So we grabbed everyone and headed into Panera Bread, not a typical restaurant, but it has the advantage of being served quicker and healthier food options then most places.

If you’re not familiar with Panera Bread, it’s a soup and sandwhich place that you walk up and place an order and wait a few minutes for your order and carry it back to your table. It allows you to grab your food quicker then a typical sit down restaurant.

When dealing with kids, time is of the essence, so make the most of it. To begin with, try to figure out what everyone wants BEFORE you go in, this eliminates a lot of idle waiting.

Next, team up, in this case Eric handled ordering and getting the food while I entertained the kids. Which brings me to my next point, have some type of activities on hand. I always keep a pack of 8 crayons and random scraps of paper in my purse especially for these occasions. It will keep the kids entertained long enough, hopefully until the food arrives. Our 2 oldest, the boys, decided to turn the paper into paper footballs, which was fine by me, you definitely need to go with the flow. So I took the opportunity to draw pictures for our 1 year old, while our 3 year old colored.

Once our food was done and Eric brought it back to the table we got everyone situated with their meals right away. Typically our dinnertime consists of our 3 and 5 year olds constantly getting up and running around. They always need a drink, napkin, to go to the bathroom, or literally run in circles. We were realistic that our home mealtime would be a very real possibility eating out as well, but surprisingly they were intrigued in eating their meals and actually sat and ate.

Although 9 times out of 10 eating out is a chaotic mess, the combination of preparation(bringing crayons & paper), team work (having a game plan in place), and expediting the eating process made for an overall pretty good trip.

Play it by ear – if your kid(s) are already cranky, or are having a bad day, you may want to opt for the “eat in the car” option. I’m sure many people are looking at me with a raised eyebrow, but the theory of “bring your kids regardless” only works so well. If you’ve ever had a kid have an epic meltdown in the middle of the restaurant you know that the logistics of packing up food, picking up a screaming child, grabbing your purse, wallet, diaper bag, waiting to get the check and pay…all makes for a disaster.

You’re not a bad parent if eating in the car means a happy kid…and happy parents.

Why Kids Cry For Absolutely No Reason

Andrea — Mon, 10 Feb 2014 02:39:15 +0000

I came across this website the other day and got a really good laugh out of it. It’s a collection of photos of kids crying with the parent captioning why exactly their child is crying. If you’re a parent you can definitely relate to these moments, if you don’t have kids it might confuse the heck out of you.

The website shows photos of kids crying about the most random of things – “she dropped a receipt we got at the gas station”, “I won’t let him eat styrofoam” and “I broke the cheese in half”. To a logical outsider it appears that these children are having meltdowns over nothing, and you’ve probably encountered this first hand while out shopping and you see a child having a meltdown in the middle of the store and the parent doesn’t look too concerned.

As big people (adults), we have big problems – money worries, job worries, you know those things that keep us up at night sometimes. In comparison what do kids have to worry about? Eating? Sleeping? Playing with toys? And yet they can fall apart in a single moment when things don’t go their way.

It’s always hard to put ourselves in other people’s shoes – but when we do that it gives us their perspective and can help us understand their point of view better, so hopefully we can relate and have a better understanding of how they feel. So stop for a moment and think about a meltdown moment from a kid’s perspective.

In the photo with the girl who “she dropped a receipt we got at the gas station”. That girl’s name is Anna, and she started off today having a pretty good day. She woke up and had her favorite cereal, got on her favorite outfit and prepared for the day ahead. Mom was going to take her to see the ocean, somewhere she had been begging to go for months. Anna had seen the ocean before on TV, it was bright blue with tons of whales, fish and dolphins – her favorite. It was going to be a long 3 hour car ride, but after bathroom breaks it would end up being almost 4 hours total. Rain was in the forecast, and since mom had to take a vacation day off of work which she had requested a month in advance, so cancelling the trip just wasn’t going to be an option. They left home at about 9am and finally got there at 1pm, stopping only for bathroom breaks and gas hoping to beat the rain. It was about 12pm when they stopped for gas and Anna was starting to get antsy at this time, so when mom got back in the car she handed her the gas receipt as a distraction. What mom didn’t know is that although to her it was just another piece of paper, to Anna it was something that she would cherish the rest of the trip there as it kept her occupied. The receipt had letters and numbers on it and she was making a game out of trying to match them on the receipt.

They finally arrived at their destination just as it was beginning to sprinkle, but despite the weather Anna’s Mom decided they were going to have a good time no matter what. As they exited the car and started walking down the boardwalk to the ocean, Anna clung tight to the receipt in her hand, the excitement of what she was about to see was almost unbearable. As they walked, Anna excitedly looked either way to catch a glimpse of the sealife that she had seen on TV. But she didn’t see anything of interest. Where were the whales? The fish? The dolphins? So she asked her mom, who replied “Keep looking” – so Anna started looking around…but still nothing. As she turned once again towards the ocean, there it was, a whale! Her hands reached up high and opened up in excitement, letting the now worn receipt slip away into the wind. When Anna realized what had happened, she started crying and as mom tried to console her, it just got worse. After a long car ride, no lunch, and not being able to properly communicate why she was so upset her tears turned into sobs, which turned into uncontrollable crying and eventually a full meltdown. She wasn’t trying to cause a scene, she was just trying to figure out someway to make herself feel better and to make sense of it all.

The photo you see is her mom carrying her back to the car, away from the whales, away from the ocean, away from the receipt none of which made the situation any better. Unknowing onlookers made some comments, some of the understanding “been there done that”, others wondering how any parent could allow their child have a meltdown like that.

Perspective, right? Can you understand now why Anna was so upset? Why her mom didn’t seem too concerned? She had taken the day off thinking they would have this great day together and bonding time, and it ended on such a sour note.

Well the truth of it is that the story of Anna above is not a true story, but it very well could be. As parents, we have to learn to relate to our kids on their level. We can’t expect them to always behave, to understand why they can’t eat styrofoam or why we broke their cheese in half(to make it easier to eat). They aren’t adults, and on so many levels, and especially an emotional level, we can’t expect adult behavior from children.

When it comes to kids, even the small things are BIG things. They live a life that is at our mercy – we tell them when to eat, when to sleep and how to behave. They often want to do things that are out of their physical capabilities, or things that might be harmful or that just don’t make sense. It’s our job to teach them how to deal with the situations that life deals them and how to react when things don’t go their way. And sometimes, they’re not even old enough to understand, and that’s ok, and that is when we as parents need to realize that it’s age appropriate behavior, and WE need to let it go.

So the next time you get frustrated that your child is having a meltdown over what you think is nothing, or you see a random kid writhing on the floor in the supermarket for what appears to be no reason – take a moment to look at it from the child’s perspective. They’re not trying to be a nuisance, they might just need a snack, someone to understand or even maybe just a hug.